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Horoscopes for week of April 20, 2017

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
After George Washington was elected as the first President of the United States, he had to move from his home in Virginia to New York City, which at the time was the center of the American government. But there was a problem: He didn't have enough cash on hand to pay for his long-distance relocation, so he was forced to scrape up a loan. Fortunately, he was resourceful and persistent in doing so. The money arrived in time for him to attend his own inauguration. I urge you to be like Washington in the coming weeks, Aries. Do whatever's necessary to get the funds you need to finance your life's next chapter.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

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You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Fantasize about sipping pear nectar and listening to cello music and inhaling the aroma of musky amber and caressing velvet, cashmere, and silk. Imagine how it would feel to be healed by inspiring memories and sweet awakenings and shimmering delights and delicious epiphanies. I expect experiences like these to be extra available in the coming weeks. But they won't necessarily come to you freely and easily. You will have to expend effort to ensure they actually occur. So be alert for them. Seek them out. Track them down.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

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You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Contagion may work in your favor, but it could also undermine you. On the one hand, your enthusiasm is likely to ripple out and inspire people whose help you could use. On the other hand, you might be more sensitive than usual to the obnoxious vibes of manipulators. But now that I've revealed this useful tip, let's hope you will be able to maximize the positive kind of contagion and neutralize the negative. Here's one suggestion that may help: Visualize yourself to be surrounded by a golden force field that projects your good ideas far and wide even as it prevents the disagreeable stuff from leaking in.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
A reader named Kris X sent me a rebuke. "You're not a guru or a shaman," he sneered. "Your horoscopes are too filled with the slippery stench of poetry to be useful for spiritual seekers." Here's my response: "Thank you, sir! I don't consider myself a guru or shaman, either. It's not my mission to be an all-knowing authority who hands down foolproof advice. Rather, I'm an apprentice to the Muse of Curiosity. I like to wrestle with useful, beautiful paradoxes. My goal is to be a joyful rebel stirring up benevolent trouble, to be a cheerleader for the creative imagination." So now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian: How do you avoid getting trapped in molds that people pressure you to fit inside? Are you skilled at being yourself even if that's different from what's expected of you? What are the soulful roles you choose to embody despite the fact that almost no one understands them? Now is a good time to meditate on these matters.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
In the coming weeks, there will be helpers whose actions will nudge you -- sometimes inadvertently -- toward a higher level of professionalism. You will find it natural to wield more power and you will be more effective in offering your unique gifts. Now maybe you imagine you have already been performing at the peak of your ability, but I bet you will discover -- with a mix of alarm and excitement -- that you can become even more excellent. Be greater, Leo! Do better! Live stronger! (P.S.: As you ascend to this new level of competence, I advise you to be humbly aware of your weaknesses and immaturities. As your clout rises, you can't afford to indulge in self-delusions.)

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.








 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
I love to see you Virgos flirt with the uncharted and the uncanny and the indescribable. I get thrills and chills whenever I watch your fine mind trying to make sense of the fabulous and the foreign and the unfathomable. What other sign can cozy up to exotic wonders and explore forbidden zones with as much no-nonsense pragmatism as you? If anyone can capture greased lightning in a bottle or get a hold of magic beans that actually work, you can.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
A friend told me about a trick used by his grandmother, a farmer. When her brooding hens stopped laying eggs, she would put them in pillowcases that she then hung from a clothesline in a stiff breeze. After the hens got blown around for a while, she returned them to their cozy digs. The experience didn't hurt them, and she swore it put them back on track with their egg-laying. I'm not comfortable with this strategy. It's too extreme for an animal-lover like myself. (And I'm glad I don't have to deal with recalcitrant hens.) But maybe it’s an apt metaphor or poetic prod for your use right now. What could you do to stimulate your own creative production?

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.








 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Now would be an excellent time to add deft new nuances to the ways you kiss, lick, hug, snuggle, caress, and fondle. Is there a worthy adventurer who will help you experiment with these activities? If not, use your pillow, your own body, a realistic life-size robot, or your imagination. This exercise will be a good warm-up for your other assignment, which is to upgrade your intimacy skills. How might you do that? Hone and refine your abilities to get close to people. Listen deeper, collaborate stronger, compromise smarter, and give more. Do you have any other ideas?

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
"If I had nine hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first six sharpening my ax," said Abraham Lincoln, one of America's most productive presidents. I know you Sagittarians are more renowned for your bold, improvisational actions than your careful planning and strategic preparation, but I think the coming weeks will be a time when you can and should adopt Lincoln's approach. The readier you are, the freer you'll be to apply your skills effectively and wield your power precisely.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.








 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Zoologists say that cannibalizing offspring is common in the animal kingdom, even among species that care tenderly for their young. So when critters eat their kids, it's definitely "natural." But I trust that in the coming weeks, you won't devour your own children. Nor, I hope, will you engage in any behavior that metaphorically resembles such an act. I suspect that you may be at a low ebb in your relationship with some creation or handiwork or influence that you generated out of love. But please don't abolish it, dissolve it, or abandon it. Just the opposite, in fact: Intensify your efforts to nurture it.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
Your astrological house of communication will be the scene of substantial clamor and ruckus in the coming weeks. A bit of the hubbub will be flashy but empty. But much of it should be pretty interesting, and some of it will even be useful. To get the best possible results, be patient and objective rather than jumpy and reactive. Try to find the deep codes buried inside the mixed messages. Discern the hidden meanings lurking within the tall tales and reckless gossip. If you can deal calmly with the turbulent flow, you will give your social circle a valuable gift.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.








 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
The best oracular advice you'll get in the coming days probably won't arise from your dreams or an astrological reading or a session with a psychic, but rather by way of seemingly random signals, like an overheard conversation or a sign on the side of a bus or a scrap of paper you find lying on the ground. And I bet the most useful relationship guidance you receive won't be from an expert, but maybe from a blog you stumble upon or a barista at a café or one of your old journal entries. Be alert for other ways this theme is operating, as well. The usual sources may not have useful info about their specialties. Your assignment is to gather up accidental inspiration and unlikely teachings.

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Every week since 1995, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here online. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal.

*

You can also support my work by buying the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story.









 
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