The Latin motto "Carpe diem" shouldn't be translated as "Seize the day!", says author Nicholson Baker. It's not a battle cry exhorting you to "freaking grab the day in your fist like a burger at a fairground and take a big chomping bite out of it." The proper translation, according to Baker, is "Pluck the day." In other words, "you should gently pull on the day’s stem, as if it were a wildflower, holding it with all the practiced care of your thumb and the side of your finger, which knows how to not crush easily crushed things -- so that the day's stem undergoes increasing tension and draws to a tightness, and then snaps softly away at its weakest point, and the flower is released in your hand." Keep that in mind, Aries. I understand you are often tempted to seize rather than pluck, but these days plucking is the preferable approach.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In the Beauty and Truth Lab parlance, "Uber-Fun" (always capitalized) refers to righteous delight that inspires you to shed limiting beliefs, thereby making you trickier, smarter, kinder, and wilder. Go out and have some Uber-Fun.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to uaregod@comcast.net, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Naturalist John Burroughs may have been addressing your current needs when he wrote the following: "The lesson which life constantly enforces is 'Look underfoot.' You are always nearer to the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Every place is the center of the world."

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You're hereby invited to join the Clandestine Indigenous Revolutionary Committee Devoted to the Ingenious Liberation of All Sentient Beings. To signify your desire to sign up, simply perform an act of crafty compassion that reduces someone's suffering.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Where exactly is Hell in relation to Heaven, anyway? Is it the equivalent of a billion light-years away? Or are they located within shouting distance of each other? Lots of ancient religious texts suggest the latter. Yalkut Koheleth, a Jewish commentary on the Biblical book Ecclesiastes, claimed the two domains were just "a hand-breadth apart." In Greek myth, the blessed Elysian Fields were situated right next door to Hades. "The doors to heaven and hell are adjacent and identical," wrote Nikos Kazantzakis, "both green, both beautiful."

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The alchemists said the magic formula for enlightenment was Visita Inferiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem, or "Seek out the lower reaches of the earth, perfect them, and you will find the hidden stone" -- the treasured philosopher's stone. Jungian psychologists might describe the process this way: Engage in a relationship with the blind and sickly parts of yourself, perfect them, and you will awaken your hidden divinity.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Objection, evasion, joyous distrust, and love of irony are signs of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology." So proclaimed Friedrich Nietzsche in Beyond Good and Evil. Note well that he used the adjective "joyous" to describe distrust, not "cynical" or "grumbling" or "sour." The key to remaining vital and strong while questioning every so-called absolute is to cultivate a cheerful, buoyant mood as you do it.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You may not have heard, though, about the story's surprise ending. The dogs were programmed for weeks with such rigor that their behavior became as predictable as machines. Then one day a flood inundated the lab. In the confusion, the dogs forgot all their training instantly. (Source: Raoul Vaneigem, The Revolution of Everyday Life)

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Imagine that the whole world belongs to you. The birch trees in New Hampshire's White Mountains are yours, and so are the cirrus clouds in the western sky at dusk and the black sand on the beaches of Hawaii's Big Island. You own everything, my dear sovereign -- the paintings in all the museums of the world, as well as the Internet and the wild horses and the eight-lane highways.

Please take good care of it all, OK? Be an enlightened monarch who treats your domain with reverent responsibility. And make sure you also enjoy the full measure of fun that comes with such mastery. Glide through life as if all of creation is yearning to honor and entertain you.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2015.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2015 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2015." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 21, 2015)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The ancient Greek word klimax had several meanings. Here's the Beauty and Truth Lab's favorite definition: a ladder to heaven by which a dreamer's soul ascends to have an erotic tryst with a divine being who imparts fascinating secrets. Before you go to bed on the next five nights, tell your subconscious mind that you want to get yourself a klimax like that.