Free Will Astrology : All Horoscopes (printer-friendly)

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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of March 5, 2015

Aries (March 21-April 19)

To depict what lay beyond the limits of the known world, medieval mapmakers sometimes drew pictures of dragons and sea serpents. Their images conveyed the sense that these territories were uncharted and perhaps risky to explore. There were no actual beasties out there, of course. I think it's possible you're facing a comparable situation. The frontier realm you are wandering through may seem to harbor real dragons, but I'm guessing they are all of the imaginary variety. That's not to say you should entirely let down your guard. Mix some craftiness in with your courage. Beware of your mind playing tricks.

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It's not too late to hear my big-picture, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2015. What new influences will be headed your way in the coming months? Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is 7 to 9 minutes long. Register and/or log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction, Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Growing up in Montreal, musician Rufus Wainwright was steeped in the mystique of that city's legendary songwriter Leonard Cohen. Although too feisty a spirit to engage in idol-worship, Wainwright was at least slightly in awe.

As a young adult, he finally got to meet Cohen, whose daughter brought him to the great man's family home. When Wainwright walked into the kitchen, Cohen was in his underwear cooking up tiny sausages, which he was chewing, regurgitating, and feeding to a weak baby bird he had found and was trying to revive. (Source: the film I'm Your Man)

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Whenever I close my eyes and seek psychic visions of your near future, I see heroic Biblical scenes. Moses is parting the Red Sea. Joseph is interpreting Pharaoh's dream. Jesus is feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. What's the meaning of my reveries? Well, this psychic stuff is tricky, and I hesitate to draw definitive conclusions. But if I had to guess, I'd speculate that you are ripe to provide a major blessing or perform an unprecedented service for people you care about.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Computer programmer Garry Hamilton articulated the following "Game Rules." Give examples of how they have worked in your life.

1. If the game is rigged so you can't win, find another game or invent your own.
2. If you're not winning because you don't know the rules, learn the rules.
3. If you know the rules but aren't willing to follow them, there's either something wrong with the game or you need to change something in yourself.
4. Don't play the game in a half-baked way. Either get all the way in or all the way out.
5. It shouldn't be necessary for others to lose in order for you to win. If others have to lose, re-evaluate the game's goals.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

In a New Yorker cartoon, Tom Gauld outlines "The Four Undramatic Plot Structures": 1. "The hero is confronted by an antagonistic force and ignores it until it goes away." 2. "The protagonist is accused of wrongdoing, but it's not a big thing and soon gets sorted out." 3. "The heroine is faced with a problem but it's really difficult so she gives up." 4. "A man wants something. Later, he's not so sure. By suppertime he's forgotten all about it." In my astrological opinion, Gemini, you should dynamically avoid all four of those fates. Now is a time for you to take brave, forceful action as you create dramatic plot twists that serve your big dreams.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When he's in his prime, a male panda performs an average of eight handstands a day. There's no apparent evolutionary purpose in this stunt. Maybe he does it because it feels good.

Make him your role model. Identify three activities you can do not because they're "good for you" or because they'll advance some goal you're pursuing, but simply for the sheer fun of it.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

"To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright," said heavyweight German philosopher Walter Benjamin, a fellow Cancerian. I am happy to report that there's a good chance you will soon be blessed with an extraordinary measure of this worry-free self-awareness. And when you do -- when you are basking in an expanded self-knowledge infused with self-love and self-appreciation -- some of your chronic fear will drop away, and you will have at your disposal a very useful variety of happiness.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Charles Darwin said the "survival of the fittest" is a central factor in the process of evolution. What exactly did he mean by that? According to sociologist Leon C. Megginson, here's what Darwin was driving at: "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change."

By this definition, what would you have to do to make yourself superbly fit?

Leo (July 23-August 22)

"As you get older, the heart sheds its leaves like a tree," said French novelist Gustave Flaubert. "You cannot hold out against certain winds. Each day tears away a few more leaves; and then there are the storms that break off several branches at one go. And while nature's greenery grows back again in the spring, that of the heart never grows back." Do you agree with Flaubert, Leo? I don't. I say that you can live with such resilient innocence that your heart's leaves grow back after a big wind, and become ever-more lush and hardy as you age. You can send down such deep, strong roots and stretch your branches toward the sun with such vigor that your heart always has access to the replenishment it needs to flourish. The coming weeks will provide evidence that what I say is true.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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During a trip to Europe, New York poet Stephen Ben Israel performed Re-Blessing Ceremonies in venerable cathedrals and synagogues. His primary sacramental act was to smoke a joint and invoke a visceral awareness of the Divine Intelligence. In so doing, he aspired to reanimate those sterile sanctuaries, where over the years so many worshipers have brought only their inert concepts and habit-encrusted beliefs.

Carry out your own version of a Re-Blessing Ceremony in a once-sacred place that has lost its juice.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

"I will not wait to love as best as I can," says writer Dave Eggers. "We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a terrible way to think. It is no way to live, to wait to love." That's your keynote for the coming weeks, Virgo. That's your wake-up call and the rose-scented note under your pillow and the message scrawled in lipstick on your bathroom mirror. If there is any part of you that believes love will be better or fuller or more perfect in the future, tell that part of you to shut up and embrace this tender command: Now is the time to love with all of your heart and all of your soul and all of your mind.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Qabalist teacher Ann Davies told a story about a U.S. Army general negotiating with a cannibal chief in New Guinea during World War II. The general wanted the chief to rally his tribe to help American troops fight the Japanese. The chief refused, calling the Americans immoral. The general was shocked. "We are not immoral!" he protested. "The Japanese are immoral!" The cannibal chief replied, "The Japanese and Americans are equally immoral. You both kill far more people than you can eat."

Using this tale as your impetus, describe how parts of your moral code may not be rooted in an absolute standard of what's good and evil, but rather bound by the idiosyncrasies of your culture and historical era.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

I love the song "Shine On You Crazy Diamond," by Pink Floyd. Other favorites are Tool's "Third Eye" and Yo La Tengo's "Pass the Hatchet, I Think I'm Goodkind." But all of these tunes have a similar problem. They're more than ten minutes long. Even before my attention span got shrunk by the Internet, listening to them tested my patience. Now I have to forcefully induce a state of preternatural relaxation if I want to hear them all the way through. In the coming days, Libra, don't be like a too-much-of-a-good-thing song. Be willing to edit yourself. Observe concise boundaries. Get to the point quickly. (You'll be rewarded for it.)

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Feel sorry for a devious lawyer
Rebel against your horoscope
Give yourself another chance
Write your autohagiography
Play games with no rules
Teach animals to dance
Trick your nightmares
Relax and go deeper
Dream like stones
Mock your fears
Drink the sun
Suck gravity
Sing love

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Sneaking around isn't necessary, Scorpio. There's no useful power to be gained by hiding information or pursuing secret agendas. This is not a time when it's essential for you to be a master of manipulation who's ten steps ahead of everyone else. For now, you are likely to achieve maximum success and enjoy your life the most if you are curious, excitable, and transparent. I invite you to embody the mindset of a creative, precocious child who has a loving mommy and daddy.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Composer Robert Schuman had long dialogues with his imaginary friends, Florestan and Eusebius, who provided valuable ideas for his musical scores. W.S. Merwyn wrote a poem in which he recounted the counsel of his teacher John Berryman: "He suggested I pray to the Muse / get down on my knees and pray / right there in the corner and he/ said he meant it literally."

Conjure up an imaginary friend and have an intimate conversation with him or her.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

In 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay became the first humans to reach the summit of Mount Everest. It took them seven weeks to climb the 29,029-foot peak. In 1960, Jacques Piccard and Don Walsh got into a bathyscaphe and sailed to the lowest point on the planet, the Mariana Trench at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. It took them four hours and 47 minutes to go down 36,070 feet. Based on my analysis of your astrological omens, I think the operative metaphor for you in the coming weeks should be the deep descent, not the steep ascent. It's time to explore and hang out in the depths rather than the heights.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Take off your mask. You say you're not wearing a mask? But you are. The muscles of your face are so accustomed to displaying your familiar emotions, they've gotten stuck. Raw new emotions are aching to show themselves, but can't dislodge the incumbents.

Start an exercise program. Gaze into the mirror and make hundreds of rubbery faces. Loosen and tone your muscles. Flush those ancient expressions.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

The African country of Ivory Coast has two different capital cities. Yamoussoukro is the official capital, while Abidjan is the actual capital, where the main governmental action takes place. I suspect there's a comparable split in your personal realm, Capricorn: a case of mixed dominance. Maybe that's a good thing; maybe it allows for a balance of power between competing interests. Or perhaps it's a bit confusing, causing a split in your attention that hampers you from expressing a unified purpose. Now would be a favorable time to think about how well the division is working for you, and to tinker with it if necessary.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Nineteenth-century English poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a series of sensual sonnets inspired by his relationship with his wife Elizabeth. Before he could publish them, Elizabeth died. He was so distraught he placed the only copy of his manuscript in the grave with her. Years later, though, he decided the love poems were too good to consign forever to the oblivion of the dirt. He had the coffin disinterred and recovered his work.

Draw inspiration from Rosetti's change of heart. Reclaim riches you once abandoned or left for dead.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

I've gone on three book tours and done my spoken-word show in scores of bookstores. But one of my favorite author events took place at the Avenue C Laundromat in New York City's East Village. There I performed with two other writers as part of the "Dirty Laundry: Loads of Prose" reading series. It was a boisterous event. All of us authors were extra loose and goofy, and the audience offered a lot of funny, good-nature heckling. The unusual location freed everyone up to have maximum amusement. I see the coming weeks as a time when you, too, might thrive by doing what you do best in seemingly out-of-context situations. If you're not outright invited to do so, I suggest you invite yourself.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"As soon as you concern yourself with the 'good' and 'bad' of your fellows," said Morihei Ueshiba, founder of the martial art of aikido, "you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you."

Make that your hypothesis. Proceed according to the theory that you can feed your strength and power and freedom by accepting other people just the way they are. Assume that one of the surest ways to be happy and successful is to refrain from judging anyone.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

When Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor of California in 2003, the state had the eighth largest economy in the world, right behind Italy and just ahead of Brazil. Schwarzenegger had never before held political office. When Cambodian doctor Haing Nor performed in the film The Killing Fields, for which he ultimately won an Oscar, he had no training as an actor. He was a novice. Will you try to follow in their footsteps, Pisces? Is it possible you could take on a role for which you have no preparation or seasoning? According to my divinations, the answer is yes. But is it a good idea? That's a more complex issue. Trust your gut.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Thomas Paine was a zealous revolutionary. He wrote incendiary pamphlets that helped ignite and sustain America's struggle for independence from Great Britain in the 18th century.

Early in his life, however, he worked making women's girdles, which are among the most constrictive and oppressive garments in the history of the world. Was there a connection between his two gigs? Maybe his later struggle for liberation was an unconscious atonement for his youthful labors.

Instigate a Thomas Paine-like boomerang. Think of something you did in the past that constricted your spirit or squeezed other people's possibilities. Use that memory as a launching pad as you unleash a brilliant stroke in the name of abundance and expansiveness.

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