| |
| |
Horoscopes for week of May 10, 2012
In one of your past lives, I think you must have periodically done something like stick your tongue out or thumb your nose at pretentious tyrants -- and gotten away with it. At least that's one explanation for how confident you often are about speaking up when everyone else seems unwilling to point out that the emperor is in fact wearing no clothes. This quality should come in handy during the coming week. It may be totally up to you to reveal the truth about an obvious secret or collective delusion. Can you figure out a way to be relatively tactful as you say what supposedly can't or shouldn't be said?
How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
The 17th-century surgeon Wilhelm Hilden had an interesting theory about healing. He developed a medicinal salve that he applied not to the wound itself but rather to the weapon that inflicted it. Though today we may sneer at such foolishness, the fact is that Hilden's approach has great potential if used for psychic wounds. Jesus understood this when he articulated the revolutionary formula, "Love your enemy." More than any other action, this strategy has the power to cure you of the distortions your enemy has unleashed in you. Try it out.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
Taurus actor Daniel Day Lewis will star as American president Abraham Lincoln in a film to be released later this year. Hollywood insiders report that Lewis basically became Lincoln months before the film was shot and throughout the entire process. Physically, he was a dead ringer for the man he was pretending to be. Even when the cameras weren't rolling, he spoke in the cadences and accent of his character rather than in his own natural voice. It might be fun for you to try a similar experiment in the coming weeks, Taurus. Fantasize in detail about the person you would ultimately like to become, and then imitate that future version of you.
Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Cancer cells are constantly developing in our bodies. Luckily, our immune systems routinely kill them off. Similarly, our minds always harbor pockets of crazy-making misconceptions and faulty imprints. They usually don't rise up and render us insane thanks to the psychic versions of our immune systems.
How can you stay strong in your ability to fight off sickness and madness? You know the drill: Eat healthy food, sleep well, get physical exercise, minimize stress, give and receive love. But as an aspiring pronoiac, you have at your disposal other actions that can provide powerful boosts to your immune system. Here are examples:
Scheme to put yourself in the path of beautiful landscapes, buildings, art, and creatures.
Exercise your imagination regularly. Get in the habit of feeding your mind's eye images that fill you with wonder and vitality.
Eliminate uhs, you knows, I means, and other junk words from your speech. Avoid saying things you don't really mean and haven't thought out. Stop yourself when tempted to make scornful assertions about people.
Every night before you fall asleep, review the day's activities in your mind's eye. As if watching a movie about yourself, try to be calmly objective as you observe your memories from the previous 16 hours. Be especially alert for moments when you strayed from your purpose and didn't live up to your highest standards.
With a companion, sit in front of a turned-off TV as you make up a pronoiac story that features tricky benevolence, scintillating harmony, and amusing redemption. Speak this tale aloud or write it down.
Take on an additional job title, beautifier. Put it on your business card and do something every day to cultivate your skill. If you're a people person, bring grace and intrigue into your conversations; ask unexpected questions that provoke original thoughts. If you're an artist, leave samples of your finest work in public places. If you're a psychologist or sociologist, point out the institutions and relationships that are working really well. Whatever you do best, be alert for how you can refine it and offer it up to those who'll benefit from it.
If you're going through a phase when you feel you have nothing especially beautiful to offer, or if you think it would be self-indulgent to inject your own aesthetic into shared environments, turn for help to great artists and thinkers. Sneak O'Keeffe or Chagall prints onto unadorned walls in public places, for instance. Memorize poems by Rilke and Hafiz, and slip them into your conversations when appropriate. Program your cell phone so that its ring is Vivaldi's Stabat Mater in C Minor. Scrawl passages from Annie Dillard's Teaching a Stone to Talk on the walls of public lavatories.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
The idea of a housewarming party comes from an old British tradition. People who were moving would carry away embers from the fireplace of the home they were leaving and bring them to the fireplace of the new home. I recommend that you borrow this idea and apply it to the transition you're making. As you migrate toward the future, bring along a symbolic spark of the vitality that has animated the situation you're transitioning out of.
How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining intelligence.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
My friend Irene has a complicated system for handling her cats' food needs. The calico, Cleopatra, demands chicken for breakfast and beef stew at night, and all of it absolutely must be served in a pink bowl on the dining room table. Caligula insists on fish stew early and tuna later. He wants it on a black plate placed behind the love seat. Nefertiti refuses everything but gourmet turkey upon waking and beef liver for the evening repast. If it's not on the basement stairs, she won't touch it. I'm bringing your attention to this, Cancerian, because I think you could draw inspiration from it. It's in your interests, at least temporarily, to keep your loved ones and allies happy with a coordinated exactitude that rivals Irene's.
Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Are you interested in becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss? Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
The moon's pale glow shimmers on your face as you run your fingers through your hair. In your imagination, 90 violins play with sublime fury, rising toward a climax, while the bittersweet yearning in your heart sends warm chills down your spine. You part your lips and open your eyes wide, searching for the words that could change everything. And then suddenly you remember you have to contact the plumber tomorrow, and find the right little white lie to appease you-know-who, and run out to the store to get that gadget you saw advertised. Cut! Cut! Let's do this scene again. Take five. It's possible, my dear, that your tendency to overdramatize is causing you to lose focus. Let's trim the 90 violins down to ten and see if maybe that helps.
How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Rainer Maria Rilke: "For one human being to love another is the most difficult task of all. It’s the work for which all other work is mere preparation."
Teilhard de Chardin: "Someday after we have mastered the winds, the waves, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, human beings will have discovered fire."
Leo Tolstoy: "Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
Blaise Pascal: "If you do not love too much, you do not love enough."
Emily Dickinson: "Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself."
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
"We all need a little more courage now and then," said poet Marvin Bell. "That's what I need. If you have some to share, I want to know you." I advise you to adopt his approach in the coming days, Virgo. Proceed on the assumption that what you need most right now is to be braver and bolder. And consider the possibility that a good way to accomplish this goal is by hanging around people who are so intrepid and adventurous that their spirit will rub off on you.
Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
In the Byrds' 1968 song "Fifth Dimension," the singer makes a curious statement. He says that during a particularly lucid state, when he was simply relaxed and paying attention, he saw the great blunder his teachers had made. I encourage you to follow that lead, Libra. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, now would be an excellent time for you to thoroughly question the lessons you've absorbed from your important teachers -- even the ones who taught you the best and helped you the most. You will earn a healthy jolt as you decide what to keep and what to discard from the gifts that beloved authorities have given you.
Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to Truthrooster@gmail.com, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
What are the most beautiful and evocative songs you know? What are the songs that activate your dormant wisdom and unleash waves of insight about your purpose here on earth and awaken surges of gratitude for the labyrinthine path you have traveled to become the person you are today? Whatever those tunes are, I urge you to gather them all into one playlist, and listen to them with full attention while at rest in a comfortable place where you feel perfectly safe. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you need a concentrated dose of the deepest, richest, most healing emotions you can tap into.
Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.
It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
Tourists rarely go to the South American nation of Guyana. That's mostly because much of it is virgin rain forest and there are few amenities for travelers. In part it's also due to the reputation-scarring event that occurred there in 1978, when cult-leader Reverend Jim Jones led a mass suicide of his devotees. Last year, after travel writer Jeff Greenwald announced his trip to Guyana, his friends responded with a predictable joke: "Don't drink the Kool-Aid!" -- a reference to the beverage Jones spiked with cyanide before telling his followers to drink up. But Greenwald was glad he went. The lush, tangled magnificence of Guyana was tough to navigate but a blessing to the senses and a first-class adventure. Be like him, Sagittarius. Consider engaging with a situation that offers challenging gifts. Overcome your biases about a potentially rewarding experience.
Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
When the spell is broken, you will be able to tap into resources you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken, you will finally notice the big, beautiful secrets that have been lying in plain sight. What is that spell? Can you break it yourself?
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
"You have more freedom than you are using," says artist Dan Attoe. Allow that taunt to get under your skin and rile you up in the coming days, Capricorn. Let it motivate you to lay claim to all the potential spaciousness and independence and leeway that are just lying around going to waste. According to my understanding of the astrological omens, you have a sacred duty to cultivate more slack as if your dreams depended on it. (They do!)
What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
In the early years of Christianity, there were hundreds of books interpreting the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But by 325 A.D., a group backed by the political and military might of the Roman Empire had determined which few of the stories about Christ would thereafter be considered the canonical New Testament, and which would be regarded as heretical bilge.
No better evidence exists for the saying, "History is a tale told by the victors." Keep this in mind as you strategize your way through your personal War of the Stories. Your account of events may have more truth in it than everyone else's conflicting tales, but that won't carry much weight unless you obtain the power to enforce your version.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
If you've been tuning in to my horoscopes during the past months, you're aware that I have been encouraging you to refine and deepen the meaning of home. You know that I have been urging you to get really serious about identifying what kind of environment you need in order to thrive; I've been asking you to integrate yourself into a community that brings out the best in you; I've been nudging you to create a foundation that will make you strong and sturdy for a long time. Now it's time to finish up your intensive work on these projects. You've got about four more weeks before a new phase of your life's work will begin.
Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While we applaud cleansing ceremonies like this, we recommend balancing them with periodic outbreaks of an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
 
Is your BS-detector in good condition? I hope so, because it's about to get a workout. Rumors will be swirling and gossip will be flourishing, and you will need to be on high alert in order to distinguish the laughable delusions that have no redeeming value from the entertaining stories that have more than a few grains of truth. If you pass those tests, Pisces, your reward will be handsome: You'll become a magnet for inside information, valuable secrets, and unusual but useful clues that come from unexpected sources.
You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
*
SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity." Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.
Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.
Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica. "You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God's enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"
Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
|
|
| |
Missed a week? Check the horoscope archives. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| |
© 1995-2013 -- Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved
|
