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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of November 10, 2011
Aries (March 21-April 19)
The title of this week's movie is "Uproar of Love," starring the Fantasy Kid and The Most Feeling Machine In The World. It blends romance and science fiction, with overtones of espionage and undertones of revolution for the hell of it. Comic touches will slip in at unexpected moments. When you're not up to your jowls in archetypes, you might be able to muster the clarity to gorge yourself on the earthly delights that are spread from here to the edge of the abyss.
How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without the awakening force that an enemy provides? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from thinking about ideas you hate?
Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crime, and priests crave sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?
What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
How's your relationship with your muse? Don't tell me that you're not an artist so you don't have a muse. Even garbage collectors need muses. Even farmers. Even politicians. All of us need to be in touch with a mysterious, tantalizing source of inspiration that teases our sense of wonder and goads us on to life's next adventures. So I ask you again: What have you and your muse been up to lately? I say it's high time for you to infuse your connection with a dose of raw mojo. And if for some sad reason you don't have a muse, I urge you to go out in quest of new candidates. (P.S. A muse isn't necessarily a person; he or she might also be an animal, an ancestor, a spirit, or a hero.)
Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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Do you have a negative opinion of clouds? Are you inclined to regard them as symbols of gloom and malaise, interruptions in what you wish would always be clear blue sky?
If so, I'll ask you to revise your view. Consider the fact that in Chinese mythology, there are xiangyun, or "lucky clouds" that are harbingers of great blessings. Deities may even ride on them for pleasure. Among the Zuni Indians, the monster known as the Cloud Eater was feared because he devoured clouds that might bring replenishing rain. And modern meteorologists know that white, fluffy cumulus clouds are signs that fair weather is on the way.
Armed with these ideas, go out in search of your own personal lucky clouds.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Funky pagan scientists at Zen State University have found that the regular consumption of Free Will Astrology can be effective in smoothing unsightly wrinkles on your attitude, scouring away stains on your courage, and disposing of old garbage stuck to your karma. They've also gathered testimony from people who claim to have experienced spontaneous healings of nagging ailments and chronic suffering while under the influence of these oracles. If I were you, I'd try to take advantage of such benefits right now. You could really use some healing. Luckily, it looks like there'll be an array of other curative options available to you as well. Be aggressive about seeking them out.
How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and gray 1967 Chevy 10 pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road near my house. Its messy beauty snaps me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that only they should be considered attractive.
Are there equivalent triggers in your life?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Given the lush and exotic astrological factors now coming to bear on your destiny, and due to the possibility that something resembling actual magic may soon make an appearance, I am taking a leap of faith with this week's horoscope. Are you game? There is a hypothetical scene described by the English poet Samuel Coleridge (1772-1834) that would normally be too outlandish to take seriously, but I suspect it's a possible match for your upcoming adventures. "What if you slept," he wrote, "and what if in your sleep you dreamed, and what if in your dream you went to heaven and there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower, and what if when you awoke you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?"
Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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Some people feel polluted when they look at porn; others when they eat Pringles and Twinkies. Personally, I experience a sense of violation after being exposed to celebrity gossip. And yet, if I've learned anything about how to maintain a healthy relationship with purity, it's that a fanatical adherence to it is as dangerous as a compulsive rejection of it. This will be especially true for you as you practice the art of pronoia. I urge you, therefore, to rebel cagily now and then against your urge to be a perfectly nice perpetrator of goodness and beauty and truth and justice.
Here's one method that might work: Use sacred sarcasm to motivate your allies to cooperate more with life's benevolent conspiracy. For instance, you might say the following to a certain female friend, hoping it will prod her to swear off self-punishing behavior forever: "You sure honored your ancestors and left an inspiring legacy for your descendants during the month you spent courting that alcoholic womanizer."
Or say something like this to a person who has not been asking for enough in return for her gifts: "No doubt you impressed the gods and earned a heap of karmic credit for all the free work you gave away to that megalomaniac who ripped you off so brilliantly."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
I was musing on how slow I am to learn the lessons I need to master -- how hard it can be to see the obvious secrets that are right in front of me. But I felt better after I came across the logo for the Jung Institute in San Francisco, which is dedicated to the study of psychology and psychotherapy. The symbol that it has chosen to embody its ruling spirit consists of four snails creeping their way around a center point -- a witty acknowledgment of the plodding nature of the human psyche. I bring this to your attention, Leo, because it's important for you to give yourself credit for how much you've grown since the old days -- even if your progress seems intolerably gradual.
How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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"Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone.
How would you go about being the opposite of who you are? Try it and see if it drives you into a state of euphoria.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
It will be a good week to have nice long talks with yourself -- the more, the better. The different sub-personalities that dwell within you need to engage in vigorous dialogues that will get all their various viewpoints out in the open. I even recommend coaxing some of those inner voices to manifest themselves outside the confines of your own head -- you know, by speaking out loud. If you feel inhibited about giving them full expression where they might be overheard by people, find a private place that will allow them to feel free to be themselves.
Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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When playing the card game known as bridge, you're fortunate if you're dealt no cards of any particular suit. It allows you to use the trump suit to win tricks.
Identify a situation in your own life where a lack of a certain resource can work to your advantage, allowing you to be a free agent, an X-factor, a wild card; freeing you to capitalize on loopholes that aren't normally available; giving you access to luck that comes to you through what you're missing.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
During the reign of President George W. Bush, many Americans viewed France as being insufficiently sympathetic with American military might. So enraged were some conservatives that they tried to change the name of French fries to freedom fries and French toast to freedom toast. The culminating moment in this surrealistic exercise came when Bush told UK's Prime Minister Tony Blair, "The French don't even have a word for entrepreneur" -- unaware that "entrepreneur" is a word the English language borrowed from the French. The moral of the story, as far as you're concerned, Libra: Make sure you know the origins of everyone and everything you engage with, especially as they affect your ability to benefit from entrepreneurial influences.
Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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I was never the class clown. I am not a troubled but devilishly handsome wastrel living on a trust fund. I've never beaten up anyone, have steadfastly not aspired to write like Raymond Carver, and have never played strip Scrabble with a junkie violinist on a leaky waterbed in a Key West penthouse. There are so many things I am not and will never be, and I'm glad I know about them. It helps me stay focused on exactly who I am. What about you? Who aren't you? Fantasize about all the paths you will never take. Put it in writing.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
The Cunnilinguistic Dicktionary defines the newly coined word "mutinyversal" as "rebellion against the whole universe." I think it would be an excellent time for you to engage in a playful, vivacious version of that approach to life. This is one of those rare times when you have so many unique gifts to offer and so many invigorating insights to unleash, that you really should act as if you are mostly right and everyone else is at least half-wrong. Just one caution: As you embark on your crusade to make the world over in your image, do it with as much humility and compassion as you can muster.
Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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Do you have an unconscious belief that the forces of evil are loud, vigorous, and strong, while good is quiet, gentle, and passive? Gather evidence that contradicts this irrational prejudice.
Are you secretly suspicious of joy because you think it's inevitably rooted in wishful thinking and a willful ignorance about the true nature of reality? Expose these suspicions as superstitions that aren't grounded in any objective data you can actually prove.
Do you fear that when you're in the presence of love and beauty you tend to become softheaded, whereas you're likely to feel smart and powerful when you're sneering at the ugliness around you? As an antidote, for a given amount of time, say a week or a month or a year, act as if the following hypothesis were true: that you're more likely to grow smarter when you're in the presence of love and beauty.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
In Mongolia there's a famous fossil of two dinosaurs locked in mortal combat. Forever frozen in time, a Velociraptor is clawing a Protoceratops, which in turn is biting its enemy's arm. They've been holding that pose now for, oh, 80 million years or so. I'm shoving this image in your face, Sagittarius, so as to dare you and encourage you to withdraw from your old feuds and disputes. It's a perfect time, astrologically speaking, to give up any struggle that's not going to matter 80 million years from now. (More info.)
Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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My friend Riley was the first member of her family to attend college. None of her hardscrabble Irish forebears had ever pursued higher education. In her senior year, Riley began having nightmares of her relatives trying to stop her from finishing school. In one recurring dream, her great-grandfather burned all her textbooks. In another, a mob of aunts and uncles tackled her and held her down as she tried to get to class.
Despite these psychic obstacles, Riley persevered in her studies and eventually got her diploma. The week after graduation, she had another dream: A host of her ancestors came to her in the form of a
Riley's psychotherapist speculated that the dream meant she had not only overcome the inertia of her heritage, but had also healed an ancient wound of her family going back many generations. Is there a similar accomplishment you're capable of? What is it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
"In your experience, who is the best-smelling actor that you’ve worked with?" TV host Jon Stewart asked his guest Tom Hanks. "Kevin Bacon," replied Hanks. Why? Not because of the bacon-as-a-delicious-food angle, although that would be funny. "He smells like a mix of baby powder and Listerine," Hanks said. Keep this perspective in mind, Capricorn. I think you should be engaged in a great ongoing quest to put yourself in situations with pleasing aromas. I mean this in both the metaphorical and literal sense. To set yourself up for meaningful experiences that provide you with exactly what you need, follow your nose.
What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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Is the universe inherently friendly to humans? The answer's got to be either "yes, definitely" or "no, not really." It can't be in between. Whatever you may be inclined to believe, you've got to agree that there's no way to know which is true with absolute certainty.
So then isn't it stupid and self-destructive to live your life as if the universe is unfriendly? Doing so tends to cast a pall over everything. But if on the other hand you proceed on the hypothesis that the universe is friendly, you're inclined to interpret everything that occurs as a gift, however challenging it may be to figure out its purpose at first.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
According to my reading of the omens, Aquarius, you can finally take advantage of a long-standing invitation or opportunity that you have always felt unworthy of or unready for. Congratulations on being so doggedly persistent about ripening the immature parts of yourself. Now here's an extra bonus: This breakthrough may in turn lead to you finding a lost piece to the puzzle of your identity.
Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.
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"The seed cannot sprout upwards without simultaneously sending roots into the ground," says an Egyptian proverb. Keep that thought in mind as you head into your next phase of growth. What part of you needs to deepen as you rise up? What growth needs to unfold in the hidden places as you gravitate toward the light? How can you go about balancing and stabilizing your ascension with a downward penetration?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
My acquaintance Bob takes a variety of meds for his bipolar disorder. They work pretty well to keep him out of the troughs, but he misses the peaks. Last time he saw his psychiatrist he told her he wished he could stop taking the complicated brew of drugs and just take a happy pill every day. The psychiatrist told him that if he ever found such a thing, she'd love to take it herself. Wouldn't we all? I'm pleased to report that you are now very close to locating the next best thing to a happy pill, Pisces. It may require you to at least partially give up your addiction to one of your customary forms of suffering, though. Are you prepared to do that?
You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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A golden eagle with a seven-foot wingspan shot down out of the overcast sky and dived at my friend Maura's pet cockatoo, which was perched on the branch of an oak tree not 30 feet from her back door. Five of us watched with alarm from the outdoor table where we were sipping tea. We leaped up and began howling, hoping to scare the giant predator away. I ran to grab a baseball bat that Maura's son had left lying near the tree.
Then the unexpected happened. The eagle did not attack the cockatoo, but settled down peacefully beside it. Nor did the cockatoo flee. The two sat there together like old friends for about 10 minutes before the bigger bird flew away.
Are you the eagle or the cockatoo?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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