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Horoscopes for week of April 21, 2011

Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
Now comes one of the supreme tests that most every Aries must periodically face: Will you live up to your promises? Will you follow through on your rousing start? Will you continue to stay passionately committed once the fiery infatuation stage evolves into the earthy foundation-building stage? Here's a secret to succeeding at this test: You can't just try to force yourself to "be good" and do the right thing. Nor does it work to use shame or guilt to motivate yourself. Somehow you've got to marshal pure, raw excitement for the gritty detail work to come. You've got to fall in love with the task of actually fleshing out your dreams.


Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The factor most likely to drive us to addiction or illness is a lack of intimate contact with spirit. We all need a daily dose of vastness. Paradoxically, many of us would also benefit from more microscopic vision. Because we're so deprived of divine connection, we're half-dreaming all the time; our unconscious pining for the eternal source distracts us from the vivid little glories that are splayed out around us. And so we miss the Divine Wow from both directions.

Try this: Prime your connection with spirit by focusing your attention on tones and shapes you usually miss: reflections in windows, the sky between the oak tree's branches, the shadows on the water, the two different emotions in a friend's eyes and mouth.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Taurus (April 20-May 20)
In his book on intuition, psychologist David G. Myers defines it as "the capacity for direct knowledge and immediate insight, without any observation or reason." Another expert on the subject, Malcolm Gladwell, describes intuition as the "power of thinking without thinking." Both authors encourage us to cultivate this undersung way of grasping our raw experience. But Myers also warns us of the perils of intuition if it's untempered by logic and analysis. It can lead us down rabbit holes where we lose track of the difference between our fantasies and the real world. It can cause us to mistake our fears for accurate ESP or get lost in a maze of self-fulfilling prophecies. I bring all of this to your attention, Taurus, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to hone and purify your intuition.


What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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The German religious reformer Martin Luther was fond of referring to the faculty of reason as a "damned whore." He believed it gave itself in service to any old theory, often propping up specious arguments rooted in hidden emotional agendas.

Though I regard my ability to reason as a prized asset, I confess to having some of Luther's mistrust. Like most of us, I have corrupted my logical mind by sometimes using it to disguise and rationalize my subjective biases.

Can you imagine having so much self-awareness that you never turn your reasoning ability into a whore? Are you willing to probe with merciless honesty for the unconscious feelings that drive you to believe what you do, and to analyze the ways you mask your subjective biases as "objective fact"? Could you suspend all your preconceptions and greet every situation with a scrupulously open mind? Try to live up to that high standard for a period of three days.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Gemini (May 21-June 20)
One of the most impressive elements of the Egyptian uprising in January and February came after it was all over. Eighteen days of street protests created a huge mess in Cairo's Tahrir Square and the surrounding area. When Hosni Mubarak finally resigned and reforms began percolating, thousands of demonstrators returned with brooms and rubber gloves and garbage bags to set the place back in order. I urge you to follow a similar sequence in the coming weeks, Gemini. Agitate for change; rebel against the stale status quo; fight corruption and ignorance; and once your work has led to at least a partial success, clean up after yourself.


Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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To the ancient Chinese, pigs were sacred because they could eat anything and turn it into energy. The creatures were regarded as masters of transmutation. Nothing, not even garbage, was unusable to them. The Chinese aspired to be like pigs in the sense of being able to learn from and derive benefit from every experience, not just the tidy, tasteful ones.

Borrowing this strategy, name two garbage-like experiences that you could turn into fuel for your growing urge to be a pronoiac co-conspirator.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Cancer (June 21-July 22)
"Sometimes nature seems more beautiful than strictly necessary," said physicist Steven Weinberg as he admired a hackberry tree stoked with blue jays, yellowthroated vireos, and a red cardinal. You may find yourself thinking similar thoughts in the coming week, Cancerian. From what I can tell, life is primed to flood you with simple glories and exotic revelations, with signs of eternal splendor and hints of sublime meaning, with natural wonders and civilization's more interesting gifts.


To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"You may enjoy this movie if you shut down enough brain cells. I turned off all except the ones needed to remember where I parked my car." This observation comes from a critic's evaluation of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, but I've read similar comments in many reviews of other films and entertainment. Indeed, it's an approach that many intelligent people employ routinely in response to the shiny slop our culture offers up.

What about you? Do you assume you have to make yourself dumber in order to have fun? Has the well-crafted inanity of the world caused you to shut down your sensitivity? Work to reverse this trend. You'll receive help from unexpected sources if you do.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Leo (July 23-August 22)
I became an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church when I was 19 years old. Since then I have officiated at numerous baptisms, initiations, weddings (including marrying people to themselves), divorces, renamings, housewarmings, ghost-banishings, and the taking of primal vows. In all my years of facilitating these ceremonies, I've rarely seen a better time than right now for you Leos to seek a cathartic rite of passage. You may even be tempted to try several. I recommend you do no more than two, however. Are you ready to break a taboo or smash an addiction? Renounce a delusion or pledge your devotion or leap to the next level?


Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Send out a big "Hey!" and "What's up?" to all the little voices in your head. Start with the still, small voice that's always ready to provide concise responses to the ingenious questions you come up with. But also acknowledge the others as well—even the crabby, reactive naysayer that's forever on the lookout for insults to your dignity, however tiny or unintentional; even the worrywart that wakes you up in the middle of the night to pester you with doubts and fears.

Love all the little voices in your head. Celebrate their vitality, their persistence, their attentiveness. Consider the possibility that you're lucky to have such a zealous group of advisors, even if all but one of them are off the mark a lot of the time.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
It would be an excellent time for you to acquire the Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Kit, a package of goodies prepared by domestic expert Martha Stewart. I say this not because a Zombie Apocalypse is looming, or any other kind of apocalypse for that matter. Rather, the kit's presence in your life might encourage you to make fun of your fears. And that would be a perfect way to cooperate with the current cosmic tendencies, which are conspiring to diminish the inhibitions that your anxieties hold in place. Remember one of the key rules in the game of life: Humor dissipates worry.


Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
There is a proverb from the American culture of the 21st century that I'd like to run by you: "Never reveal all you know, confess everything you feel, show how much you care, or give all you have."

Prove this proverb wrong. Cultivate power by revealing all you know, confessing everything you feel, showing how much you care, and giving all you have.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Libra (September 23-October 22)
Eighty years ago, an explorer who visited the Maori of New Zealand found they had such good eyesight that many were able to detect Jupiter's four largest moons with their naked eyes. That's the kind of vision you could have in the coming days, Libra -- metaphorically speaking, at least. The astrological omens say you have the potential to see further and deeper into any part of reality you choose to focus on. Inner truths that have been hidden from you are ready to be plucked by your penetrating probes. For best results, cleanse your thoughts of expectations. Perceive what's actually there, not what you want or don't want to be there.


Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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If you're a left-winger, you may think right-wingers are stupid or evil or both. If you're a right-winger, you probably hold the same attitudes about left-wingers. A similar pattern prevails between most other groups that hold opposing views. You're a rare person if you've never looked at a certain group of people and thought to yourself, "They are all sick idiots."

But I'm asking you to find out what it's like to dispense with judgments like that. In fact, try living without any scapegoats whatsoever. If even for an hour per week, visualize the possibility that those with whom you disagree might be sincere and well meaning.

I'm not suggesting this exercise merely because it's a nice thing to do. It will also have the effect of giving you access to parts of your own intelligence that have been closed off to you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
You really should ventilate your house periodically, even when the weather's cool. The air indoors gets stale; you need to flush it out and welcome in some fresh stuff. In my astrological opinion, it's especially important for you to do this right now. So please consider opening all the windows for a while and inviting the breezes to blow through. In addition to its practical value for your respiratory system, it could serve as a ritual that gently blows the dusty crud out of your mind, thereby improving the circulation in your thoughts and emotions and fantasies.


Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Oceans are not exactly teeming with life. In fact, they're mostly barren, and could rightly be called "wet deserts." Likewise, not all your emotions, even those that come in floods, are fertile. Some are automatic reactions that have discharged thousands of times since they were first programmed into you many years ago. They're often negative, and are not organic but mechanical, being inappropriate to the events that seem to stimulate them. They became fixtures when you were a very different person than you are now. Identify these.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
What do you like most about work? What are the pleasurable experiences that happen for you when you're engaged in demanding tasks that require you to be focused, competent, and principled? I think it's important for you to identify those hard-earned joys and then brainstorm about what you can do to expand and intensify them. You're in a phase of your long-term cycle when you can make a lot of headway toward transforming your job situation so it serves you better.


No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Many of us don't always know what we feel. We may have a vivid sense that we feel something, but we're not sure what it is. That's why musicians, writers, actors, and other creative people play such a crucial role in our emotional lives. Their work can help us articulate the enigmas fermenting within us.

But here's the problem: A majority of the artists who are easiest for us to find aren't exceptionally smart or original; they specialize in expressing hackneyed feelings. Many of the very best creators "remain in relative obscurity because of their resistance to formula efforts," writes journalist Alan Cabal. "Mediocrities latch onto whatever hits and repeat it endlessly in pursuit of cash or celebrity or both." If we look to the latter for illumination, we're cheated.

Your assignments: Get tough with the lazy or wounded part of you that is drawn to the mediocrities. Compile a roster of virtuosos who have developed a high level of proficiency in extracting esthetically exciting meaning from the fascinating chaos around us. Expose yourself exclusively to their work, devotedly avoiding the mediocrities' stuff, for a given period, say 100 days. Describe how this transforms you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
The next phase of your life will be an excellent time to unbreak your heart. Here's what I mean by that: You will have extra power to dissolve any pain that still lingers from the romantic disappointments of the past. You'll be able to summon acute insights into how to dismantle the sodden and unnecessary defenses you built to protect yourself from loss and humiliation. You will find it easier than ever before to forgive and forget any close companion who hurt you. So get out there, Capricorn, and launch the joyful process of restoring your love muscles to their original potency.


Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The bumper sticker I saw said, "Having abandoned my search for the truth, I'm now looking for a good fantasy." Though it's meant to be sarcastic, it's a useful piece of advice.

Consider this hypothesis: The truth is so complicated and ever-shifting that it's impossible to pin down. Why try to understand the nature of reality when it's more productive and interesting to aggressively create the nature of reality? Why be preoccupied with conjuring up concepts to approximate the structure of the universe when the point is that we change everything we observe merely by looking at it?

As another bumper sticker says, "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
  Verticle Oracle card Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
"Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years," read the headline in The Onion. "I always thought that if I kept searching and exploring, I'd discover who I truly was," the report began, quoting 38-year-old Andrew Speth. "Well, I looked deep into the innermost recesses of my soul, and you know what I found? An empty, windowless room the size of an aircraft hangar. From now on, if anybody needs me, I'll be sprawled out on my couch drinking black-cherry soda and watching Law & Order like everybody else." I wonder if Speth is an Aquarius? Many of my Aquarian acquaintances seem to have hit a dead end recently in their quest to fulfill the ancient maxim "Know thyself." If you're like that, please hang on. The floodgates of self-discovery will open soon.


I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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"The reality of love is mutilated when it is removed from all its unreality." So said the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard in his book The Poetics of Reverie.

He meant that realism alone is not enough for human beings to live on, especially in our most intimate relationships. We need fantasy to augment the merely factual perspective. We require poetic truths to keep the rational approach honest.

Without the play of the imagination, in fact, our understanding of the world is impoverished and ­distorted.

(P.S. Nietzsche said: "We have art in order not to perish of truth.")
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


 
  Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 18)
Odds are high that you know very little about Africa. Can you name even 20 of its more than 50 countries? Are you aware that its land mass is bigger than Europe, China, and the U.S. combined? Did you realize that about 2,000 languages are spoken by the people living there? I bring this up, Pisces, because from an astrological perspective it's an excellent time for you to fill the gaps in your education about Africa -- or any other subject about which you are deeply uninformed. Don't get overwhelmed by this assignment, though. Choose maybe three areas of ignorance that you will concentrate on in the coming weeks.


For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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When I lived in Santa Cruz, I had an acquaintance named Barnaby who lived at a remote rural community called Last Chance Farm. Combination shaman, wise elder, and lunatic, he would on rare occasions slip into town and lead me on fact-finding missions he dubbed whirlygigs. "Steep yourself with the intention of attracting lessons you don't know you need," he'd say, and then we'd meander the streets at random, going places I'd never been and striking up conversations with strangers with whom I seemingly had nothing in common. Barnaby described the whirlygig as an urban version of the walkabout, which for Aborigines is a time when they leave work and wander out into the bush to commune with the mysteries of nature.

Carry out your own whirlygig. When you're done, write an essay entitled, "People, Places, and Things I Didn't Know I Loved."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.



 
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