Free Will Astrology : All Horoscopes


	Horoscopes for week of October 14, 2010 Until recently, no cricket had ever been observed pollinating a flower. All the evidence showed, in fact, that crickets don't help flowers -- they devour them. Then one night last January on the island of Reunion in the Indian Ocean, researchers discovered that the species known as the raspy cricket was responsible for pollinating wild orchids. They even caught the magic act on film. I regard this turn of events as akin to an upcoming development in your life: Someone or something that you've never thought of as a fertilizing force for you will become one. Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT Sometimes we have a strong sense of what our destiny is calling us to do, but we don't feel quite ready or brave enough to answer the call. We need a push, an intervention, a serendipitous stroke -- what you might call "fate bait." It's a person or event that awakens our dormant willpower and draws us inexorably toward our necessary destiny; it's a thunderbolt or siren song or stage whisper that gives us a good excuse to go do what we know we should do. Do you have any ideas about how to put yourself in the vicinity of your fate bait? * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	My date and I decided to go see the film You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. As we entered the theater, we passed a short, elderly Chinese woman in a brown uniform. She was bent over sweeping the floor. Suddenly she stood up straight, looked me in the eye, and extended her left hand toward me. Confused, I reached out toward her. She quickly pressed something in my hand, then returned to her sweeping. As I walked on, I unrolled the small paper scroll she had given me. It read, "Tell your Taurus readers they should be alert for helpful messages coming from sources they would usually ignore or neglect." I'm doing what she suggested. Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT During my years in college, I enjoyed watching the evolution of Richard, a shy geek in my creative writing classes. Long before he penned a single good poem, he was a bohemian art poseur. On his backpack there was a button with the image of rock poet Patti Smith. He often wore a T-shirt bearing a quote from poetry icon Allen Ginsberg, and he was never without his book of Rimbaud poems. Everywhere I went I saw him scribbling ostentatiously in his journal as he chain-smoked clove cigarettes. To my surprise, Richard's work gradually began to match his persona. By sophomore year he'd spawned some evocative poems, and soon after he graduated, he published a fine chapbook. In his development I witnessed a perfect example of the saying, "You become what you pretend to be." Your assignment: Decide what you want to become, and start pretending to be that thing. Or else: Be careful what you're unconsciously pretending to be, because you just might become it. * The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	Of all the signs in the zodiac, you are currently the best at carrying out the following activities: gliding, flowing, leaping, skipping, twirling, undulating, reverberating, galloping, and rub-a-dub-dubbing. I suspect that you will also excel at rumbling, romping, rollicking, cavorting, and zip-a-dap-doodling. If all goes well, Gemini -- which is to say you show how much you love your body and throw off any inhibitions you might have about celebrating your instinctual nature -- then you will be at the low end of the scale in performing these activities: shuffling, drooping, mumbling, wallowing, pigeonholing, and pussyfooting. Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT In his book Starbucked, Taylor Clark says there's a woman who goes to a Seattle Starbucks every morning and orders a "decaf single grande extra vanilla two-percent extra caramel 185-degrees with whipped cream caramel macchiato." Maybe her request seems overly fussy and demanding, but it could be a good act for you to mimic. Try this: For a given time, say 12 days, be equally as exacting in asking for what you want. Assume that you have a poetic license to be extremely specific as you go about your quest for fulfillment. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	A reader wrote to me bemoaning the fact that her new Cancerian boyfriend is addicted to safety. She speculated that since he is a member of an astrological sign renowned for its timidity, she should probably either get used to the suffocating lack of action or else bolt from the relationship now. In reply, I sent her a quote from one of the most heroic Cancerians of the 20th century, Helen Keller: "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure." Moral of the story: It's a ripe time for you to rise up and refute the people in your life who think you're a brooding wallflower. Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT "Why, I don't even respect myself, I tell ya," said comedian Rodney Dangerfield. "When I make love, I have to fantasize that I am somebody else!" Experiment with just the second half of that formulation. While you're making love, fantasize that you're somebody else. But do it because you care deeply about yourself -- so deeply that you want to transcend your customary reactions and expand your identity. Do it because you dare to awaken to previously unknown possibilities of who you might be. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	Helping your fellow humans can literally enhance your strength. A Harvard study proved that people who did good deeds or even visualized themselves doing good deeds had increased physical endurance and willpower. Unfortunately, the study showed that those who harbor nefarious intentions are also able to draw on extra fortitude. In other words, you can boost your energy by either being compassionate or evil. I highly recommend the former over the latter, Leo, especially now that you're entering a phase when it makes a lot of spiritual sense to build your courage, vigor, and tonicity. No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT There was an indignant uproar after revelations in 2006 that James Frey's best-selling "memoir" A Million Little Pieces contains fabrications. He hadn't actually lived all of the experiences he depicted therein. Hearing about it prompted me to ruminate on whether there's any such thing as a completely accurate account of any person's life. My conclusion: no. In every autobiography and biography ever written, the author imaginatively strings together selectively chosen details to conjure up artificially coherent narratives rather than depicting the crazy-quilt ambiguity that actually characterizes everyone's journey. If you and nine writers set out to tell your life story, you'd produce 10 wildly different tales, each rife with subjective interpretation, misplaced emphasis, unintentional distortions, and exorbitant extrapolations from insufficient data. Celebrate the malleability of reality. Regale listeners with stories about the time you worked as a pirate in the Indian Ocean, or rode the rails through Kansas as a hobo, or gave a down-on-his-luck CIA agent sage advice in an elevator. When you call to get pizza delivered and the clerk who takes your order asks your name, say you're Brad Pitt or Paris Hilton. When someone you're meeting is annoyed because you're late, say you couldn't help it because you were smoking crack in the bus station bathroom with your mom's guru and lost track of time. If asked how much education you have, say you have three PhDs, one each in astrobiology, Russian literature, and whale songs. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	"The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease," said French philosopher Voltaire. With this in mind, let's evaluate your current discomfort. From what I can tell, healing forces beyond your control and outside of your awareness are going to be working their mojo to chip away at your problem. But it will still be wise for you to occupy yourself in activities that you think will expedite the fix. Doing so will minimize your anxieties, allowing nature to do what it does best. Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT George III was King of England from 1760 to 1820. During the last years of his reign, he gradually became more and more detached from reality, talking to himself for hours on end and addressing trees as if they were people. When he first began losing his mind, his servants and assistants made a conscious decision to help him feel more comfortable by acting eccentric themselves. Their collusion with George's pathology is an extreme example of a situation that all of us are at risk of. Our associates and loved ones may fall into a rhythm of going along with our odd ideas and bad habits, encouraging us to continue doing what we probably shouldn't do. Are your allies refraining from busting you or calling your bluff, when they probably should? Bust yourself. Call your own bluff. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	Usually you specialize in having a light touch. You'd rather nudge than push. Nimble harmony is more interesting to you than brute force. You prefer your influence on people to be appreciated, not begrudgingly respected. And I certainly don't want you to forsake any of those inclinations. But I would love to see you add a dash of aggressiveness and a pinch of vehemence to your repertoire in the coming week. I'd be thrilled if you raised your voice a bit and gesticulated more vigorously and projected your confidence with an elevated intensity. According to my reading of the astrological omens, your refined approach will benefit from a dose of subliminal thunder. I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT If a cow is given a name by her owner, she generates more milk than a cow that's treated as an anonymous member of the herd. That's the conclusion of a study done by researchers at Newcastle University in the UK. "Placing more importance on knowing the individual animals and calling them by name," said Dr. Catherine Douglas, "can significantly increase milk production." Building on that principle, I suggest that you give everything in your world names, including (but not limited to) houseplants, insects, cars, appliances, and trees. It will help you get more up-close and personal with all of creation, which is an effective way to cultivate pronoia. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	Time magazine created a list of the 50 worst inventions. Included among the most terrible creations that human ingenuity has ever come up with are plastic grocery bags, sub-prime mortgages, hydrogenated oils, and pop-up ads. Now let's switch our attention to your personal equivalents of these monstrosities. To climax the atonement phase of your own astrological cycle, I recommend that you do the following: 1. Identify the three worst ideas you have taken seriously during the past decade. 2. Carry out one formal action to correct or make amends for the consequences of each bad idea. 3. Really, truly, forgive yourself as best as you can. For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT Sometimes the best gift you can give your ego is to tell it you're not going to be its slave anymore. You say to it, "I'm tired of being whipped around by every one of your ever-shifting little needs, and I'm sick of having to kowtow to your inexhaustible demands. I want to be free of your insatiable craving to be appreciated, recognized, and adored. Go away and leave me alone. I'm just going to be who I am without worrying about you at all." Delivering this message may stimulate a healing crisis. Your ego could be temporarily rendered numb and irrelevant by its near death experience, and you'll get to go off and do what your soul wants to do. Tell your ego you won't be its slave for a period of three days. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	For your assignment this week, I have borrowed from a list of suggestions offered by Sagittarius poet Kenneth Patchen in his book The Journal of Albion Moonlight. Feel free to improvise as you carry out at least three. 1. Discourage all traces of shame. 2. Bear no cross. 3. Extend all boundaries. 4. Blush perpetually in gaping innocence. 5. Burrow beneath the subconscious. 6. Pass from one world to another in carefree devotion. 7. Exhaust the primitive. 8. Generate the free brain. 9. Forego no succulent filth. 10. Verify the irrational. 11. Acquire a sublime reputation. 12. Make one monster at least. 13. Multiply all opinions. 14. Inhabit everyone. Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT In American psychotherapy, the first question many practitioners ask their new clients is essentially, "What did your parents do to you to mess you up so badly?" One of my Japanese friends tells me that in his country, a therapist is more likely to ask, "What did your parents do for you? How did they nurture and support you?" Without dismissing the possibility that your mom and dad did inflict damage on you, I'll ask you to concentrate on the Japanese-style inquiry for now. What are the best things that happened to you when you were growing up? What did your family and community give you that you've never fully appreciated? * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	Among Google searches starting with the phrase "who is," the top-rated is "God," while "Satan" is a distant tenth. Running ahead of Satan but behind God are Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber. If I were you, Capricorn, I wouldn't be Google-searching any bigger-than-life entities like those four in the coming week. The characters you need to research are non-divine, non-celebrity types who might bring interesting influences into your life -- people who would have a direct influence on your access to resources and on your ability to call forth the best from yourself. What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Beth had a dream that she and her tribe were living peacefully at the foot of a mountain. Without warning, fiery ash and lava erupted. Everyone fled, desperate to escape. But before she had gone far, Beth heard a voice in her head say, "Run toward the volcano; it's your only safety." Feeling an inexplicable trust in the voice, she turned around and started heading back, whereupon the dream ended and she woke up. Soon after getting out of bed, she felt moved to face up to a certain dilemma she'd been ignoring in her waking life. When she solved the problem a day later, she felt gratitude for the dream that had spurred her to do the right thing: Run toward the volcano. What would be the equivalent in your own life? * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	Explorers found a 30,000-year-old carved stone artifact in a German cave and brought it to the University of Tubingen for study. Experts there determined that it had a dual purpose for the ancient humans who made it. Phallic-shaped with rings around one end, it was obviously a sex toy. But other markings indicated it was also used to start fires by striking it against flints. I'd like to make this power object your symbol of the week, Aquarius. You're in a phase when you should be alert for ways to mix business with pleasure and practicality with adventure. Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT "The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words," said Terence McKenna in Alien Dreamtime, "and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish." Here's my version of that hypothesis: What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language. Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity. Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctured with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire. * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
	You're not exceptionally scared of the dark, Pisces, but sometimes you seem to be intimidated by the light. You can summon the spunky courage to go crawling on your hands and knees through dank tunnels and spooky caves in quest of treasure that's covered in primordial goo, but you may play hard to get when you're offered the chance to unburden yourself of your cares in wide-open spaces. What's up with that? Don't get me wrong: I'm proud of your capacity to wrestle with the shadows in the land of the lost; I'm gratified by your willingness to work your karma to the bone. But I would also love you to get a share of rejuvenating rest and ease now and then. Do you think you could manage to have it both ways? I do. To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Shadow Blessings. * SACRED ADVERTISEMENT As a boy, renowned Spanish matador Manolete was a sissy. He rarely played outside, preferring to be near his mother as he read books and painted pictures. Psychologist James Hillman explains this by suggesting that the youthful Manolete had already sensed his destiny, intuiting that one day he would be alone in the ring facing down angry 2,000-pound bulls. His childhood behavior was a way of marshaling his strength and shielding him from the enormity of the challenges he would seek out one day. Is it possible that what you have considered a weakness or vulnerability has actually been preparing you to express a signature strength? * The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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