| ||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||
|
Horoscopes for week of April 3, 2003
Got enough clues to chew on for a while, Aries? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  The ancient Egyptian creator god Ptah was regarded as a miracle worker, though sometimes he used unconventional means to accomplish his amazing feats. For example, legend held that he defeated a legion of Assyrian marauders with an army of rats. Waiting till the enemy soldiers were asleep, Ptah sent the rats into their camp to gnaw through their bowstrings and shield handles, rendering them defenseless. Can you imagine a way in which you might draw inspiration from the Egyptian god's methods, Taurus? How could you win a great victory by summoning the help of an influence you usually regard as a pest?
Want to explore the coming week even further, Taurus? Dig deeper? Feel stronger? Consider tuning in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  Self-anointed "debunkers" rail against astrologers' predictions, acting as if speculating about the future was a crime against rational thought. Meanwhile, economists, meteorologists, sportscasters, trend analysts, and political pundits are out there regularly making bad prognostications based on dubious data. In my opinion, they spread more delusion and cost people more money than those of us who divine cosmic omens. For example, the National Weather Service's forecasts fail to anticipate more than half of all tornadoes and flash floods. But do debunkers denounce them as quacks? Never. Sorry for the rant, Gemini, but I have a prophetic point to make: Every single hypothesis about the future that you are aware of now and that you hear about in the next four weeks will be wrong -- except, of course, this one.
What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny, Gemini? For more hints about the week ahead, listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  It's Freethinkers Week, a holiday created especially for you Cancerians. To celebrate this liberating grace period, indulge in any of the following festive acts: 1. Declare your independence from anyone to tries to tell you, either subliminally or directly, who you are or how you should live your life. 2. Declare your independence from your past, especially memories that oppress your sense of possibility and self-images that inhibit your urge to explore. 3. Declare your independence from peer pressure, groupthink, and conventional wisdom. 4. Declare your independence from your previous conceptions of freedom so that you'll be free to come to a completely fresh understanding of it.
How much do you want to know about your destiny in the coming week, Cancerian? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your shimmering, undulating fate, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  It's prime time for you to acquire a pair of lucky pants. How will you know they're lucky? Because they'll endow you with an intuitive sense of where to walk in order to have adventures that'll inspire you to see the big picture. It will also be a favorable week for you to rummage around in thrift stores until you find a pair of magic X-ray specs that'll give you the power to perceive the secret motives of everyone you gaze upon. Wait! There's one more piece of spooky good news. I predict you'll soon have a vivid dream in which you explore what's hidden below the tip of the iceberg.
No one knows you better than you do, Leo. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge in the coming week if you tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  I love it when I'm so energized and purified from riding my bike up Mt. Tamalpais that I experience a lightning bolt of realization about some crucial truth I've been hiding from myself. I love it when I'm walking through the city's trash-spattered concrete jungle and am suddenly blessed with the fresh smell of dirt from a renegade garden. I love it when the pathological decisions of bad leaders inspire my tribe to redouble its commitment to fight for outrageous peace, ingenious love, and wild understanding. What about you, Virgo? Where do you look for your breakthroughs and redemptions? It's time to be on high alert.
Hungry for more inspiration, Virgo? Curious about the unfolding mysteries? For more juicy details about your destiny in the coming week, check out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  Your idealism is one of your greatest assets, but it can also be a liability. Driven to seek beauty and harmony, you sometimes become blind to the messy truth. That's why I was so pleased to get the following oracle when I consulted the ancient Chinese book of divination, the I Ching, on your behalf: "It is only when you have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events by which the path to success may be recognized." I interpret this to mean that you are about to temporarily suspend your idealism in order to see the messy truth, which will in turn lead you to an opportunity to practice your idealism on a higher level.
Your destiny is a gorgeous mystery, Libra. Your soul is awakening more every day. The secrets of life are ripening right in front of your eyes. For more clues, consider checking out your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  In their book An Incomplete Education, Judy Jones and William Wilson list the favorite colors of famous poets. T.S. Eliot loved eggplant, sable, and mustard. Wallace Stevens preferred vermilion, chartreuse, and wine, while Ezra Pound liked ivory and jade. In light of current astrological omens, which are nudging you in the direction of greater subtlety and precision, I urge you to draw inspiration from these poets' lyrical tastes. Refine your definitions of your favorite everything, Scorpio: colors, smells, feelings, tastes, physical sensations, tones of voice, types of wind, qualities of light -- everything.
Life will bring you entertaining revelations in the coming week, Scorpio. To explore even deeper, dive into your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  During a 15-month-long period in 1888 and 1889, Vincent van Gogh churned out more than 200 works of art. In one ten-week stretch he produced an average of a picture a day. I predict that you will soon slip into a comparable phase, Sagittarius. Original ideas will come surging up into your awareness with such relentless exuberance that you'll be hard-pressed to catch them all. Quick: Decide where you want to channel all that prolific creativity; don't let it leak out wastefully.
Want more clues, Sagittarius? Need further insight? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  Prize-winning gardener R.J. Harris has no interest in astrology or New Age notions. And yet, like generations of his family before him, he carefully monitors lunar cycles. Practical observation, not superstition or philosophy, has proved to him that certain parts of the cultivation process go best when done during certain phases of the moon. In his book, R.J. Harris's Moon Gardening, he suggests sowing the seeds of below-ground crops right after the new moon. (Like now, for instance.) In the early days of the second quarter, he advises, plant seedlings and above-ground crops. (April 9-12.) At the outset of the fourth quarter (April 23), add fertilizer to the soil. Prune later in the fourth quarter. (April 28-30.) I happen to believe, Capricorn, that these same principles apply to your own growth.
Where do you want to go in the coming week, Capricorn? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  I've been following the progress of a patch of ground a mile from where I live. A year ago it was a grubby gully, a no-man's land between two suburban McMansions. A ruined shack, long abandoned, stood at the bottom, imprisoned by thick underbrush. Six months ago, bulldozers arrived to clear away the thickets and raze the rotting wood structure. Three months ago, another crew arrived to contour the land and create a level spot for construction. Metaphorically speaking, Aquarius, that's where you are in your life right now. Your next step is to do the equivalent of what happened this past week, when the foundation was poured for a new home on the land that was once a grubby gully.
What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny, Aquarius? For more hints about the week ahead, listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
  In accordance with astrological omens, I have selected two words that convey the role you're best suited for in the coming week. The first is the Yiddish term tummler, derived from tumlen, to make a racket. A tummler stirs up a commotion, makes things happen, and incites people to action through his or her affectionate agitation. Clowning and pranks may be part of a tummler's repertoire. Your second word of power, Pisces, is the Iroquoian ondinnonk. It has two related meanings: 1. a secret wish of the soul; 2. the angelic part of our nature that longs to do good deeds. Now here's the punch line of your oracle: Let your ondinnonk guide you as you carry out your mission as a tummler.
Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks in the coming week, Pisces? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your Expanded Audio Horoscope. The reading costs $6.
|
||||
| Missed a week? Check the horoscope archives. | ||||
© 1995-2013 -- Rob Brezsny. All rights reserved
|
||||
